Thank U, Next

Lately, I have been thinking about the weird dynamic between grieving and listening to music. We have all made a playlist for when we experience heartbreak, or when we are super happy, or even when we are extremely angry. However, has anyone ever made a playlist to listen to when someone passes away? Honestly, if you have, major props to you. I genuinely can’t even imagine what I would title a playlist like that? R.I.P? Seems a little insensitive, or maybe I just have no way of making memorial tunes.

As many of you reading this know, I recently lost someone very close to me. While I have been moving forward and trying to enjoy life as best as I can, it can sometimes be difficult to process a loss. For me, music is the answer to everything. I mean, come on, I have a freaking playlist for when THE PURGE happens. How can I not think of a playlist to get me through this struggle? The reason is, when something so shocking happens, there is no set musical tone you can vibe into to feel right again. For me, I have focused on sticking to the same good vibe tunes as always. Shuffling my usual songs; putting certain ones on loop for hours. To me, that is just my normal. So, why would I stop that?

I just think it’s funny how different types of grief work. I mean, breaking up with someone and having your heart stomped on is a form of grieving! (I am the most single person ever, so I only know from my friends’ experiences). People all over the world make playlists for it, hell, there is even a Spotify curated MOOD for it. How come there isn’t a mood board selection for when people pass away? Would that be too morbid? Just a playlist of sad organs playing on loop for hours sounds miserable, actually. I believe it is because no person grieves the same as another. Some people lay in bed and turn on the “Songs to cry in the shower to” playlist. Then there is me. Continuing to drink vodka Redbulls and scream the lyrics to Starboy in the middle of a bar. Does that mean I’m not sad? No. Am I going to ask the DJ to play Hello by Adele? Also, no.

Some people like to soak in their sadness, and that’s okay! Other people like to avoid it until further notice, I think that’s okay too! Whatever music gets you through the best times, should be listened to when you’re going through the worst times. At least in my opinion. No shade to my friends who love to be sad and listen to their depressing anthems. I love you just the same. However, I challenge you sad music loving creatures to add a happy tune in there when you’re really going through shit. I mean, I hope nobody ever has to go through anything sad and tragic, but I also know that is not how the world works. If you know me well, then you would know that I love to turn even the shittiest of shit into the brightest of situations. While this particular one has really taken a toll on me, music has genuinely helped so much. As cheesy as it sounds, everyone has that one thing that will guide them through it all. Take a second to think about yours.

While it is so easy to feel as if you have lost touch with the ones you’ve lost, or even with reality, bring yourself back with that one thing that makes you happy. For me, lately I have been listening to my friend’s favorite songs. We had extremely different taste in music, sometimes it makes me feel as if they aren’t too far away. However, I then have to come back to my roots and blast Ocean Drive on repeat for 24 whole hours. I am writing this because I want my friends out there to know that no matter what you are going through, there is always a light. There I go being cheesy again, gross! It’s true though. For me it’s the power of music, the whole reason I began this blog in the first place. For someone else, it could be the power of Orange Chicken from Panda Express. A lot of people look to me as their little guide to all things music related. So, for those of you who have been wondering, no I have not even touched sad tunes since this all happened. That should be all the proof you need, that you don’t have to worry about me too much. If you ever hear me blasting the Titanic soundtrack though, call the police.

This post is just a huge shout out to music. I wish the world of music knew how impactful it really is. I also wish Spotify would sponsor me already…maybe one day. This is also a huge shoutout to my friends and family, sending me good vibes and motivation throughout the weeks, even in the times that I just wanted to nap instead. The musical juices are now back and flowing! Which means these posts are just going to get longer and more annoying!

XOXOXO, bet you missed me!


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