Category: Uncategorized

It’s givinggggg Ocean Drive.

Ya feel me?

Guys…it happened. I’ve entered my Ocean Drive era. I’ve talked about not being able to see Duke Dumont for YEARS on this blog, and my time has come. Thank you universe. However, we have a lot of stuff to cover before we get to that moment.

You know what other era I’ve entered? My chronic migraine era…yet again. The drive to EDC was brutal to say the least. What one would consider a bad omen, luckily did not turn out to be one. No traffic, I thought it was my lucky day. However, I did decide that drinking a lot of vodka lemonades at Machine Gun Kelly the night prior wasn’t going to haunt me the next day. WRONG. Oh well, we made it. Migraine free for the rest of the weekend too…it’s what she deserves.

Let’s talk about Friday, the most overwhelming day of my life. First of all, walking into EDC is something I would have never imagined. I have no idea why I was under the impression that a NASCAR SPEEDWAY would be the size of the OC fair, but I did. So, what I did not expect was for the festival to basically be the size of a mini city. It was amazing. I was shell shocked, I couldn’t even properly express my emotions about it. The main people I was looking forward to seeing on this day were Loud Luxury. Let me just give a backstory before I start complaining. We go way back, always dm-ing about my man issues, and how I used their song Love No More to get over men, countless times again. This Summer, they came out with a song called Mistakes. No matter how long you have been in my life, you have heard me talk about this song. I am willing to bet that it will be my #1 played song of the year on Spotify. I absolutely beat it to shit in my last toxic situationship. It also helped me dump that man. So imagine my excitement to see it performed live. Music is the best form of revenge for me. Imagine I dump you because of a song, and then I get to go see that song a few months later. Iconic. 

WELL. They didn’t play it. I was truly baffled. Honestly, it hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I love all their music, but how do you not play your most recent banger?? Now I have to go hunt them down at the clubs just to hear it. I felt like suing, but the vitamins I took prior had my serotonin shooting through the roof. I did not care. Also, if you’re reading this and a cop, please exit. Can we talk about poppers really quickly? I’m going to tell you a cute little story of why you are taught not to take candy from strangers at a young age. We met this awesome couple, and while sitting on the floor in between sets, one of them offered a little sniff sniff of a bottle he was holding. My friend next to me was like no, I’m good. My dumbass was like, why? It’s just essential oils. Girl. What. Anyways, it was in fact NOT essential oils, and upon googling the next day we found out it was possibly deadly given our already induced state. It wouldn’t truly be a festival with me, if there wasn’t some sort of stupid death defying factor involved. 

Waking up on day 2 was ROUGH to say the least. I felt like I was on my deathbed. Thankfully, we weren’t interested in going to any pool parties that weekend. Or I probably would have been delivered back to Sherman Oaks on a stretcher. Which people would think is ironic because of spooky season. Day 2 was spent exploring, and waiting for Gryffin and DJ Snake. We thought it would be an early night for us, but who really has an early night at EDC? Not me. I have more vitamins. We ended up getting home around 5am. You bet your ass I was texting until the sun came up. What can I say? I have very motivated Saturday friends who love to wake up when the sun comes up. Not my fault. I honestly don’t remember too much of Saturday. I think my brain was borderline fried. I do remember making a new cutie cowboy friend at Gryffin, hope you’re doing great queen if you see this. 

Sunday was my downfall AND my uprising at the same time. Kinda crazy how that works at festivals. In the morning, I was struggling to the extreme. Waking up every few hours, and also having my man call me batshit because of how out of control my comedown was. He was valid for real on that one. Aw, are you guys going to make me elaborate on having a man after absolutely slandering them to shit on here the whole year? No! 

So pretty much, the whole day I was on a massive comedown. Nothing could save me, not even the cheese and salami in the fridge. Not even the seven waters on my bedside. I legally could have been pronounced dead at the scene, but somehow by 7pm, I just WOKE UP? I was READY to go. I’m so glad I had a change of serotonin too, because Sunday happened to be the most unexpectedly fun music day of the weekend. The art cars were absolutely popping off, and we unexpectedly had a blast at Purple Disco Machine. This man played 70s and 80s remixes the entire hour, and it was all I needed. A weekend full of ABBA. I also forced Alana to ride a bunch of carnival rides with me. Something about a rickety roller coaster that barely works just gets me GOING. Now here is the part we’ve all been waiting for…

It’s a quarter to midnight. The last day of EDC. Duke Dumont is on soon. I honestly turned off my emotions prior to this because I just knew I would be crying in an hour. AND I DID. I’ve never been one to cry at concerts. Even when I’ve been waiting so long to see the artist. At The Weeknd, I just proceeded to scream bloody murder for 60 minutes straight. Horror movie or best day of my life? You decide. Ocean Drive is different, however. People know me by that song. I used to have old bar regulars call me the Ocean Drive girl. Or, I would make the opening manager play it on my Sunday Brunch hostess shifts to wake me up. You don’t know me without knowing my love for this song. And if you do, you don’t know the real me. Now you do. When I found this song in 2015, I knew it was for me. I was so homesick in college, and couldn’t wait to play it driving down PCH when I got back home. Upon doing so, I cried and cried up and down the street. It was euphoric. I have been waiting to hear the song ever since.

Ocean Drive has been the song I listen to on the best days of my life, and the song I turn to when I need to be cheered up on the worst days of my life. I mean, I have it tattooed, it has to mean SOMETHING. For years I contemplated what lyrics to put on my body, my favorite being, “don’t say a word while we dance with the devil.” However, that is a mouthful. After going through the worst beginning of 2021 I have ever seen, I decided to go with the lyrics, “Hold On.” Not only are those words lyrics, but honestly a reminder. Sometimes life will kick you when you’re down, but I firmly believe if you hold on things will get better. So hearing this song live to me, meant the world. I cried the minute I heard the beginning riff. The reprise he made specifically for his vinyl last year. Whenever I hear the guitar strum, everything in my life fades away. In fact, after this, I’m going to listen. I could use the ease of mind. The song was timed perfectly with the nightly firework show, with fireworks blasting as Ocean Drive is playing, I knew EDC was going to be the one for me. The festival of all festivals. The one to beat out Coachella. I finally knew why it was everyone’s favorite place. At that moment it felt like home to me. I knew I wouldn’t want to leave.

The drive back was almost as unbearable as the drive there, minus the migraine and adding a lot of rainy day traffic. I used the alone time to reflect. I used to HATE coming back from festivals. I’m starting to realize it’s because I was so unhappy in my home life, I was using festivals as an escape. While they still are an escape from reality to me, I have stuff to look forward to now. A cozy little apartment to snuggle up in, a bustling city that won’t let me sit in my comedown for long, and little fluffy dogs that run my payroll and my life. I’m finally content, and all it took was a little EDC moment to realize that. I can’t wait for my next mini escape.

Guys…it happened.

The first festival back after TWO YEARS. I mean, technically Day Trip happened on my birthday, but this felt like the real deal. Let’s spill the tea, shall we?

While my brain is still feeling a little scrambled, I am going to get through this the best I can. It’s time to sound educated. Also, may I note, EDC is NEXT WEEK. The content is overflowing!

So, what was it like being back at a festival after two years away? To be completely corny, it felt like coming home. I’m very candid about my mental health here, and two years without my favorite stress relieving outlet…really took a toll on my small brain. It finally felt like I had peace in my mind for once. Not to mention, not having cell service for the majority of it was freeing as well. It was a much needed break. While the lineup wasn’t something I was shaking, crying, and throwing up for…it was still so good. 

My body definitely felt like it was going through a culture shock. After day 1, I was sore everywhere. What the hell am I working out 5 days a week for, when 6 hours of dancing takes me out?! Clearly I was severely dehydrated and needed food, but that wasn’t an option. I was off to the pool to get a little vodka lemonade. I needed to sweat out the toxins. 

Honestly guys, I’m going to be a big boner kill here. I didn’t have any near death experiences. I KNOW. You guys love hearing about me barely scraping by the next day. I did however have a lot of realizations. Ones that I am hoping to have at EDC as well. In the past, I was always looking forward to festivals because I was hoping to escape problems in my real life. Well, it didn’t take me long to realize the main problem is running away from my problems. Go figure! Thanks therapy! While I was having the time of my life at the festival, with my best friends, I was thinking about how I was excited to come home and tell the people in my life about what was happening. I wasn’t dreading coming home like I am used to. It was almost a weird feeling. I had no problems I was running away from. Yet at least. 

I’m going to be completely honest, I am RACKING my brain right now trying to remember who we saw. We didn’t ever leave the Fremont tent the whole weekend, to put into perspective the vibe. We also went to XS Friday night to see our baby Gryffin. Truly going to bed at 5am was the peak for me. On Saturday we saw Dillon Francis, as a surprise to nobody, and I got food for once! Go figure, she’s not chugging drinks with her drugs. Don’t worry, if it was up to me I would have. Weirdly enough there was NO Redbull at the festival. To say I wasn’t disappointed would be a blatant lie. Like where is it? I don’t want any other energy drink. I know they’ll have the same effect, but I’m set in my ways. 

The festival overall was also way more crowded than usual, which at first was startling, but then kind of comforting. It was nice to know so many people were desperate to get back to the stages, no matter what was happening in the world. It felt like Life is Beautiful was it’s own little city for the weekend! Comparable to Coachella! 

I realized after the festival that EDC is going to be an even bigger shock to my body. The comedown will probably be even more intense. Or maybe not?? It’s my first time. 

Leading up to it, I’ll make a little playlist to pregame on my drive, which I’ll obviously make public for you all. 

Just get ready for the EDC blog next week, because there will be MUCH more to say from a first timer perspective. I feel like with LIB, I’m a veteran. We all know how the stories go. Even though, I’m so sorry I couldn’t deliver on the borderline passing away front. Maybe after all these years, and all these stories, I’ve finally learned??? EDC is the final boss test I have to pass.

Anyways…

See you guys after EDC!!

Omg look at me with new content…we love to see it.

When I originally sat down to write this a few weeks ago, it was solely going to be based on my amazing trip to Vegas. If you’re new here, I tend to frequent Vegas bi-monthly. It became such a habit, I even considered moving there. Still, to this day, those thoughts linger in my brain. I’m one failed talking stage away from packing up my LA life and moving. Kidding. Men ain’t shit.

Yep, you heard that correctly too, back on the man hating train. Did I ever get off? I think the train did break down for a second, but we’re up and running again. Before anyone gets entirely butthurt, I don’t HATE all men. For example, I love my dad, he’s amazing. The rest of you give me the ick. Yes, you. 

ANYWAYS. Vegas really pulled me out of my shit for a second. I mean, the title of this post says it all. My little serotonin boost was short lived, however. Prozac am I right? Upon looking on the drug related subreddits, I have found that I am not the only one with a rave issue when it comes to anti-depressants. I’m faced with, do I want to be mentally stable 24/7 or have my one weekend of fun? The latter seems to be winning. It works, don’t get me wrong, my little raver heart’s content. However, my stomach? Extremely upset. I think we just got over the nausea that weekend caused me. You know how Lady Gaga says, “Bus, club, nother club, nother club, PLANE, nother club…” YEAH. Well that was us. Minus the plane. Three clubs in 24 hours. I’m ill just thinking about it. To be honest, if it wasn’t for me getting so drunk at the day club, I would have survived. However, come club three, I was realizing I can’t party like I’m 21 anymore. TRAGIC. It was still fun, though. My festie squad is back at it again. We saw three DJs we all love, and our hearts were full being under the neon lights again. I even made my friends PLUR in the hotel room. I am that bitch. 

Upon leaving Vegas, the comedown of my real life hit me. That’s how I always know I need to make some serious changes. When I’m sad to go back to reality. Now, I wouldn’t say that means my life is bad, it’s quite the opposite. However, it’s definitely not Lady Gaga’s mantra every week and sometimes that shit sucks. 

Festival season is now looming around the corner, and I’m faced with more real life decisions to make. I like to pregame most of my festivals by cutting out toxicity in the coming weeks. I don’t like to have my little trips at night with anything or anyone on my mind, except the music. The amount of men I have blocked before festivals is admirable. If you’re somehow reading this, I’m not sorry. You probably deserved it. Will that be happening again this year? Stay tuned, we still have a few weeks to find out. While the burden of my life this year isn’t as tragic, I’m now in therapy, you’re all welcome. I still wonder what I’ll be feeling on my drive home after. I mean inevitably I will be feeling like shit. Even my FAMILY knows how hard I go for those three days, my serotonin will be on the floor. Six feet under even. However, will I be excited to return back to my little bubble? My music filled apartment? Will I be dreading the ties I’ve severed? WHO KNOWS. I do know I will be extremely excited to bundle up with a Fall candle. It’s almost fuckboy Fall ladies. We run this shit just as much as Hot Girl Summer. 

Spooky season is almost upon us as well. Finally, something that’s scarier than my own life. Which feels like it’s own American Horror Story at all times. That’s all I’ll say on the matter. Halloween and my tragic tastes in men deserve a whole post themselves. AND THEY’LL GET ONE.

Now the real stupid tea. I have been listening to the same song on repeat for three weeks. Yep, three whole weeks. Am I deranged? Probably. We all know I hyperfixate on songs, it’s nothing new. However, I think this is a whole new level for me. I mean I have it set to loop for at least an hour a day. I listened to it the whole 3 hour drive to Vegas and back. I get BUMMED when I have to pick up someone in my car because I know I’m going to have to shut that shit down. I’m a mad woman, but I’m going to tell you about it.

If you follow me, you have definitely seen me post this song. It’s called “Mistakes” by Loud Luxury. My favorites. Remember when I was obsessed with the song, “Love No More”? I may have to bring that one back honestly. Anyways, this new one is something else. I knew when they said Cat Dealers were on the track, I would be hooked. I didn’t know it would be like this. It’s about that time of year where we all need to think about our Spotify Wrapped. I already know this one is going to be my most played. It is even going to beat out The Weeknd’s new song, if that doesn’t say a lot, I don’t know what will. 

To keep it brief, the song is pretty much a banger. The lyrics? Also a banger. I feel like I was attracted to the beat, and once I heard what the song was about, I was like…OOP. It’s pretty much about a guy who was seeing some girl, and she wanted to be a player, then decided later she liked him. In which case, he had to tell her that’s just another MISTAKE. Also commenting on how people like her don’t know love. It’s just too relatable, it’s kinda terrifying. I can’t say I think of a particular person when I hear the song, but that just means my taste in men is so bad that even the song BROADLY being relatable is a red flag. It’s literally so good it makes me ILL. Men in my life need to do better so I don’t feel so attached to songs about people treating people like shit. Or don’t, I need musical therapy. 

Anyways, a festival is coming up in the next few weeks, which will probably be my next content creation. Unless you all want a full excerpt on how I feel about The Weeknd’s new song? It can be done. We’ll see.

As always, the song will be linked down below. I’ll leave the lyrical version for you, so you can really understand what I’m blabbing about. 

‘Til next timeeeee!

Loud Luxury & Cat Dealers – Mistakes (Official Lyric Video)

Hullo???

If you read my last post, you may truly get a kick out of this. I concluded the last one saying, “I’m back,” before absolutely disappearing again. This time it was for good reason. The day after I posted that, life decided it wanted to put me through the ringer one last time. I mean, it was the conclusion of my quarter life crisis, and I had to end it with a memorable one, right?

So, no more empty promises from me. I’m writing this on a whim, on a burst of inspiration, that I can’t guarantee I’ll have next week. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll have it next month, so I’m done saying I’m back for good. 

Upon waking up from a post-brunch food coma nap, I had a little moment of reflection. That last post was really sad, but still hopeful. Little did I know I was mentally going to be going to war with myself within 24 hours. I’M FINE NOW I SWEAR, but wow. Do we ever stop and take a moment to appreciate the growth we’ve had in such a short amount of time? I mean, I always look back on memories from years ago and think to myself, “that girl was so different.” However, I’m looking at that blog post from May, and I don’t even know that person anymore. 

Let’s dial it back real quick.

If you’re here expecting some tea about work, you won’t find it. Glad I got that one out of the way.

Upon posting that, life came at me quick. Countless days of me barely leaving my room, unless it was to walk dogs. Brushing my teeth was sometimes a chore, but hey at least I showered. It just really wasn’t glamorous and I was still too stubborn to admit that I couldn’t entirely fix my own problems. Toward the end of June, I was realizing I didn’t want to go into my next year of life like this. Especially when my birthday consisted of my first festival back from a pandemmy. There was no way I was going there all crusty and dusty mentally! So, we got some therapy, got some meds, and got our shit rocked. In the BEST WAY POSSIBLE. To say I feel like a changed woman would be an actual lie. I realized shortly after fixing my mental health, that it doesn’t work like that. I more so feel like the old version of me, the spontaneous person who really doesn’t care what other people think about what she’s doing with her life. The one who says yes to everything, even on 2 hours of sleep. I feel like I got her back. 

So, now that we got that out of the way, we can talk about festies again YAY.

My birthday is so iconic apparently that Insomniac had to throw me my own party. Called Day Trip. Originally, the festival was supposed to happen in the San Pedro harbor. They only sold a certain amount of tickets during the pandemic and thought it would be a more exclusive small event. WRONG. So, it had to be moved to San Bernardino. Definitely my number 1 choice of cities I wanted to boil in on my birthday. Nevertheless, I strapped on my fanny pack and went. It was a house music only festival, which felt like a much needed baby step back into raving. Most of us haven’t gone hard in two years, which I shudder to think about. It was so needed. If you weren’t there I really feel bad for you. Phones on airplane mode, vodka redbulls in hand, it felt normal again. 

Even MORE normal, I’m going back to Vegas. While I tend to go quite often when there isn’t a raging virus tempting my fate, this time is going to be beyond expectations. My friends and I have seen each other through all walks of life lately, but we haven’t gotten the chance to dance under the neon lights again….UNTIL THIS WEEKEND. I can’t wait to obsessively thank them for sharing these moments with me, another little quirk that demon me loves to do. Thanking my friends for existing. I mean, how cute am i? 

Consider this blog post a pregame if you will. I couldn’t stand to end things on such an openly negative note since May. So much has changed since then. It’s time to start getting into my madness blogging. The near death festival experiences, which hopefully I’ve grown out of. Or, the drunk nights I can only remember half of and we get to sit and piece them together on here. AND all the Vegas trips I will be taking this fall. I couldn’t just hit you with those stories out of nowhere, I had to let you know they were coming. I had to preface by saying all those morbid posts from the last six months are done. We will miss that girl so much, LA really did shit whip her and change her quick, but new me old me is back. I know we all missed her. 

I know, I know. Yet another blog post ending with no playlist to show for it. What kind of Spotify DJ am I? A fraud.

Don’t worry, a more beachy playlist is on the horizon. For all my Topanga adventures. 

However, I will leave you with this one song that kind of puts everything into perspective for me. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but some songs speak to me in ways they probably weren’t intended to. The song is about wanting to turn back time, and go back to when things were different. Seemingly with a love interest. Absolutely cannot relate to that one, but I can relate to wanting to turn back time. I would love to go back to the days of not worrying about when my next festival will be, and thinking music would cure my mental health. I’ve learned though, that’s not realistic. I always find myself wishing I could turn back time, but never enjoying the moment. So, while this song makes me feel nostalgic for two seconds, it also strangely makes me enjoy the present a lot more. I mean, if it weren’t for the present I never would have heard this song on my birthday. SO! Enough said.

Talk to you when I recover from Vegas…BYEEEEEEEEEE.

Hello…………

This is strange.

The last time you heard from me was when I was settling into my LA home. I did write back in March, had a lot of ugly things happen, and a spiritual awakening while watching the Billie Eilish documentary. However, it just didn’t pass the vibe check to put into the world. 

I’m pretty open about my mental health here, especially since the beginning of the pandemmy. I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s way better, my life went to shambles for a hot second and Coachella is STILL not back. Dopamine is still depleted. However, you can’t be a baddie if you’re not a saddie, so we’re working through it.

My friends would beg to differ though, some even going as far to say that some days I am TOO happy to be around. In the wise words of Dixie Damelio, “sometimes I don’t wanna be happy.” I’m cackling. While that could be true, as upon seeing my loved ones I go into full golden retriever excitement mode. I tend to think it’s the opposite. 

Let’s recap.

I moved to LA, thinking my life is starting over. BANK ACCOUNT WON’T STOP OVERDRAFTING. Bills and debt are just a non-stop thing for me. We get that under control. GRANDMOTHER DIES. At this point I’m wondering if I accidentally collected some toxic crystal that all the Tik Tok witches keep saying to get rid of. On a mini tangent, living in LA and getting that harrowing phone call while on my mid-day walk, was an experience to say the least. LA is very much a city where you learn to only give a shit about yourself. Some may say it’s awful, others love it. On this day, it was the best thing I needed. Screaming and crying in the middle of the street, and nobody giving me the pity to ask what was wrong, was really healing in that moment. Anyways. We start healing from that, take a social media break. My first social media break ever, it felt like rehab for an addiction. Come back to LA feeling fresh. I get about three weeks of peace, boom, good friend dies. The day before my Grandma’s funeral. I’m not really starting to look like the fun friend anymore, am I? However, if you know me, you know I have truly been through worse. So, what’s more trauma to the list?

So, wtf am I doing now? I mean, work’s awful. I got demoted for the third time in a year and a half. Apparently social media isn’t important anymore, which means we can all stop checking our favorite influencer’s page for style inspo. The media is cancelled. While I would love to cry about this, unfortunately I am just going to get called dramatic. All of a sudden, she’s crazy for recognizing her worth. Let’s shame her! Lot’s to unpack here, but that deserves a WHOLE new post in itself.

Usually, I make a playlist for everything. While recently I made a playlist for one of my best friends, I wouldn’t necessarily think it counts. I definitely am not going to make one for this moment in my life. It would just be Olivia Rodrigo’s “Deja Vu” for 12 hours straight. AND FOR ONCE I’M NOT HAVING MAN ISSUES. 

So….how do we go into Hot Girl Summer when we feel like the crustiest bitter bitch around town? Two towns actually, since I am back and forth often. I have considered being an absolute menace to society. I still might. However, I’m not ready. My friends aren’t ready either, one needs me now more than ever. The worst part is, she needs me to be a rational person now more than ever. WHAT? Now I have to take the advice I give…I shudder to think. 

I’m going to give you a song that truly has me feeling the most calm, while also feeling the most maniacal I have felt in a long time. My roommate reading this is going to have a conniption. It’s a Taylor Swift song, and we live in a home of fangirls. Four months ago, “No Body, No Crime,” was released. If you know me, you know I love a good murder podcast. Sprinkle in a little Dateline. A murder SONG?? Oh I’m levitating. I’m possessed. Everytime this song comes on, I find peace in knowing that I am not the only one who wants to put men in the bottom of the ocean. Hi everyone, welcome to me taking a Taylor Swift song completely out of context for 10 minutes. Or am I? This song makes me feel calm, sometimes it makes me cry. The crying I haven’t really unpacked yet. 

Why am I telling you this? Obviously this is a #ad and you need to go listen to the song for me to be able to pay my bills. I’m also telling you because I feel like now you’ll go evaluate what song has you reevaluating your life. It could be sad, could be murdery, could be screamy. Whatever floats your boat. Does it make you feel better? Does it make you feel like you’re about to hit the drop on Splash Mountain? Good.

I guess this overly drawn out post of me saying I’m sometimes miserable, sometimes not, is my way of saying I’m back? Most of you probably hear from me on a daily basis, I’m pretty annoying that way. Some of you don’t. Some of you don’t even really know me at all. Besides my near death Coachella experiences (I miss those). I think before festivals, clubs, events can truly come back for me this year, it’s time to be myself. While yes, that is me half the time being silly and stupid, the dark parts of my life are what made me that way. I learned to enjoy life by realizing the pain is temporary, and if I weren’t meant to be here, I would have been serial killed by now. So I guess I have a purpose to find! In finding that purpose, I’m going to be raw and real. Hot Girl Summer? Usually looks like Clown Girl Summer for me, and I love it. Maybe we’ll dive into my horrible taste in men, and why I have a dedicated playlist of anthems that pretty much tell men to f off, even though I never do. TEA!

While this post didn’t come with a playlist to set you free, it’s coming. I have to reset my life before The Weeknd drops a new album first. That’s actually why I’m back now. So you can get used to me before I start screaming about whatever is brewing. 

Until next time….

J

First of all, let me start by saying, I wrote the first line of this on January 25. Which, had to be deleted, because times and titles change things. LIFE COMES AT YA QUICK. Apparently. 

Today I was feeling inspired. Or, as I said out loud to myself five minutes ago, “expired.” My brain hasn’t been working properly lately, and the past three days I have been blaming it on my new discovery. Apparently, I’m super iron deficient. Which would explain why I quite literally feel EXPIRED on a daily basis, the minute I wake up. 

So, it’s Valentine’s day. For me, that literally means napping all day and eating whatever shit food my body wants to process. Today was a Lunchable. However, I realized, I really have not updated a single soul on my big life change. DON’T WORRY, IT COMES WITH A PLAYLIST. If you are coming from Instagram, you will have already known what I have been up to the last month. I guess it really took me a second to process what was actually going on. Again, life comes at you quickly. Especially my crazy life. I MOVED. AGAIN!! I know, it feels like just yesterday that I wrote about fleeing my parents’ coop. I’m actually fairly certain that was the premise of the last blog. However, given really strange circumstances, it had to be done again. Let’s just say, it was probably for the best. 

You might be wondering where I went. SHE’S AN LA GIRL NOW. I came all this way in hopes of one day being a successful vlogger living in the Hollywood Hills. Just kidding. Maybe.

If you know me, you’ll know I’ve wanted to live in Los Angeles for a long time. It crossed my mind in high school, but upon returning from Arizona after college, it was really all I thought about. Don’t get me wrong, living by the beach is wonderful. I loved it. However, nothing was really inspiring me. Being in a creative field, I feel like I am always looking for some sort of stimulation. Whether that’s from music, or being surrounded by like-minded individuals. With COVID ripping away any and all forms of live concerts, that was already out the window. As for the like-minded individuals, those were starting to fade too. I love my friends so much, but we’re all on such different paths, it was hard to really push each other, when we were all kind of lost. TRUST ME, I AM STILL LOST. I think I have a quarter-life crisis moment once a day. 

So, while I wasn’t entirely ready to start this chapter, HERE I AM. Besides the iron deficiency, I can definitely say I feel more awake. All my problems I make up in my head, seem really small in the grand scheme of things. The other day I drove to Mulholland drive, just to stand on a mountain and remember I am nothing. While that sounds morbid, it really helps tone down the overthinking and dramatics. For being astrologically moody by the galaxy’s placement, it was much needed. I also feel the need to work harder out here. If I’m not doing it, someone else will. I’m competitive, so there’s no way in hell I’d let someone beat me out of my dreams. Which, I really am not even sure what my dreams are anymore. THANKS COVID. Or, thanks to my quarter-life crisis. I am constantly putting the blame on either. 

With any uncertainty, I have to go and make a playlist. I’m so quirky and silly. I’m not like other girls. Pick me, choose me, love me. Literally, like okay?? Make your playlist and go sis. 

I CAN’T.

While I already blasted it on Instagram, I’m putting it here too. I titled it, “Another LA Blonde.” Just to entirely humble myself. Or let the city know, another bad bitch is on the way. For any of my friends who are going to comment, YES, OCEAN DRIVE IS ON THERE. So is The Weeknd. It is literally a playlist encapsulating me, c’mon now. Also pause, can we talk about that Superbowl performance?? I mean…it was so good. My only complaint is that it was too short. However, every person above the age of 35 just felt the need to text me and tell me how much they hated it. Which did not end well for anyone. Cue drunk me defending a man I’ve never met. Nothing new there. Not to mention, during the show. My phone was blowing up. I forget how much my dumbass makes an impact on my friends’ lives. I love it. I can’t wait to hear what everyone will be texting me in March 2022. Since I have to wait a whole other year. GREAT.

Anyways, this playlist is everything you love about me in song form. It’s a little mellow, it’s a little crazy, it’s a little dramatic. It’s literally Coachella. Since that’s my brand now, crying over Coachella. While I once was crying over men, I am now crying over cancelled performances. What a glow up. 

Want another glow up? I’m done making open-ended promises. Last blog post I said you would see me soon. Now, I won’t even give you that. I have no idea when you’ll hear from me again, because I literally have no idea what’s even going on in my life. This isn’t therapy, so nobody wants to hear me vent about scenarios I’ve created in my head. Nobody wants to hear about my anger when they don’t come to fruition. It’s okay. There are also no music festivals, so all my content is pretty much out the window. WE WILL PREVAIL. I’ll have to think of something. The Weeknd is coming out with a documentary about the Superbowl performance. What we did to deserve that, I’ll never know. Maybe I’ll write a review on it, maybe not. Since we all know I am biased. We’ll think of something. I would ask for suggestions, but am I willing to let someone else take the wheel for me? Unknown.

I’ll keep you posted on where the LA inspiration takes me, or the rabbit hole it leads me down. For now, you can absolutely bop to my playlist I made. You can even tell me how good it is, I’ll wait. 

See you stupid bitches later! (Me to me)

Byeeeeeee

ANOTHER LA BLONDE PLAYLIST: